Home again, home again, jiggity jig

...Apparently that's a line from Blade Runner. I had no idea, til I posted that in my facebook status yesterday, and someone commented on it.

I've been away far too long. I tried to blog from my phone but no dice. Lame.

I just spent the past 6 days in Tennessee visiting my dad and stepmom. It was an awesome trip, and a much needed break. We had fun hiking, visiting the largest underground lake, drinking lots of beer, playing darts, pool, Wii, and hours of cards. It was good to spend time with both of them.

The 4th was amazing, sitting out on their back porch, heads on a swivel, watching 15-20 different fireworks displays. We also talked about all kinds of things, including the fact that the dog we had when I was a kid wasn't really my mom's dog, like I'd always thought. He was mine. My birthday is right around Mother's Day, and we supposedly gave him to my mom for Mother's day. He's been gone for about five years now, and I was sad to hear that, because I wasn't around the last few years of his life. The day he was put to sleep was an awful and emotional day for me. He was my first pet, and I always pretended he was mine. Although I complained about taking care of him sometimes, I loved that dog. It was bittersweet to hear, but I'll always think of him as mine. :)

I took some awesome pictures (IMHO) of the trip, so I'll upload some later this week.

Then when it came time to leave, I got to the Knoxville airport on time and ended up getting home almost 3 hours after I was supposed to. So my 8 1/2ish hours of travel turned into almost 12, from delayed flights and closed highways on the drive home. Ugh.

The best part of getting home was walking down the steps at the airport and seeing P waiting there for me. He'd gotten home the night before from JRTC, and we planned on him picking me up. It was so great to walk off the escalator (impatiently behind the people who seemed to only want to stand there and get in my way!) and into his arms. We stood there and just kissed for several minutes, and then just held each other. When we finally stepped back, he grinned at me and said, "hey you." I got a little teary eyed (didn't tell him that, because he'd make fun of me), and said "hi." I'm sure I had the dumbest smile on my face but I didn't care. It was so perfect to be wrapped up in his arms.

We'd decided to pick up my car from my store and then head back to his house (he got permission to miss PT so that he could sleep in). It was the perfect way to sleep... wrapped up in his arms. He laughed at me at one point, because when I rolled over, I held onto his arm, so he had to keep it around me. We only got about three hours of sleep before I had to get up for work. I was so grateful to spend even a few hours with him. I wish it was like the last time, where we got three straight days to spend together, but I'll take what I can get. :)

Now I'm home, and my cats are delighted to see me. Harley keeps showing off, and it's cute. He sticks close to my side, which has resulted in him coming close to getting stepped on, bashing his head on my leg, and almost getting beaned by the fridge door. Cali's like... Oh... you're home? Ok. Feed me? Ok. But I know she's happy because she keeps rolling over to get her belly rubbed. Yes, I'm lame. :)

I'm reading blogs, but I haven't commented much yet. I'm exhausted, and debating between the hour drive to P's place and passing out before 9 PM. Sadly sleep may win, but only because I know I can head there tomorrow after work and have some well rested cuddle time. :) Hope all is well! I'm having fun catching up on blogs!

Bruised

Is it weird that I love getting bruises? I don't know why. I'm always proud of my bruises, except for the ones that I can't figure out where they came from.

But the ones that come from something adrenaline pumping activity like mountain biking, I don't mind. I keep trying to take pictures of them, but I'm not having much luck. My legs literally are so white that they reflect the flash. Pathetic. :) (Avert your eyes if needed.)

Excuse the weird angle of my leg, but my bruise is in kind of a weird spot. So here's how I managed to do it this time...

I was mountain biking with my buddy and his two brothers, and they were a bit ahead of me. I was getting a little confident and determined to keep up. The trail was slightly curving to the left, and there was a root sticking out in the trail. I tried to avoid it, but hit it at a pretty high speed (for me). I felt myself going over the handlebars, so I let go to protect my head/face. The I landed pretty softly on my hands, but the handlebars spun, pinning my left leg between them and the top tube. The bottom bruise is actually the worse bruise, and it's several inches across and hard. I have a small bruise on my right calf, but I also twisted my knee a bit when I fell.

My buddy came back to check on me and I tried to walk it off for a few seconds, before realizing that I was incredibly dizzy and nauseated. He told me I came close to passing out. I think the knee pain was enough to shake me up a little bit. After a few minutes and lots of water, I felt better and we kept riding. Today, my knee is fine, and the bruises are stellar. I love it. :)

I'm so ready for P to get back in a little more than a week. But I'm very excited for my vacation this week. I can't wait to see my dad and stepmom, and I really need to relax for a few days. I'm glad that my trip ends with the two of us back together. I don't really want to let him out of my sight for awhile after this. I know we've got a lot more time apart ahead of us, but I'm tired of being accustomed to him being gone. I'd rather be accustomed to having him around, at least for a few months. Plus I really want to see Transformers 2, but I promised we'd see it together.

Oh and reason #5692 why I dislike my apartment? The stupid digital transition caused me to lose 90% of my channels. Not that I watch all that much tv, but most of the channels I do watch are gone. We have digital cable, but now I have to get some stupid box to plug my tv into instead of the wall. I have to talk to my landlord about it, which isn't that big of a deal, but I think it's lame that you need more than one digital box per house.

Home, sweet home!

I wish I meant Wisconsin, but I'm back in my tiny apartment. Man it feels crammed in here! It doesn't help that I decided that I have too much crap (which I've known for awhile) and I've started going through it.

My apartment literally looks like a tornado went through. There are clothes, papers, books, and all kinds of little junky stuff that I've collected over time. Part of me thinks I should just throw a lot of it away, but the sentimental packrat in me won't throw a lot of it away. I literally have shoe boxes full of travel lotions, shampoos, hair spray, and whatever else. I have years of Taste of Home magazine, random Cosmo, Fitness, Shape and Real Simple magazines.

I'm also anxious to get it cleaned up and out because P will be seeing my apartment for the first time when we both get back. It'd be nice to get rid of a lot of the things I don't need. I know it's easy to look cluttered in a one-room studio, but I'd much rather it looked semi-organized.

Anyone need a papasan chair? :)

Thank you

It really meant a lot to read the comments from you all. The situation is rough, not getting the job, but seeing your support really meant a lot. I hadn't told many people about the interview, in case I didn't get it, so I haven't really been able to vent.

When I first got into work, I went in with a heavy heart, and a worry that I wasn't going to make it through the day without being a basket case. I put my head down, and worked hard on sale preparations, and focused on getting things done.

A few hours after I started work, I made the Starbucks run for my two supervisors and myself. (Our store's structure is one store manager, two assistant managers and three supervisors. So they have some authority over me, and I respect them as my bosses, but we're all around the same age, so we can talk pretty comfortably on the same level.) When I got back, one of them pulled me into the conference room to talk about what happened.

I teared up initially, and told him that it was tough to not get the job. As we talked, he told me how impressed he was by my resiliency and the fact that I wasn't angry or sad, or letting it show if I was. He told me that each of the managers would probably do the same thing, and everyone was kind of watching me to see what happened next. They had talked about how my attitude can influence a good chunk of the store. He came to me as my boss but also as someone sort of on the same level, and reminded me that when people in the store think of the management team, they think of me on the same tier as them.

I'll be sitting down with my store manager tomorrow and I'm going to take some time tonight to write some questions for him that I want answered. Primarily, now that I've picked my path for corporate, what does he think? Am I a good fit? Second, what steps can I take to help that process? Third, what challenges can I be given at the store level to keep my interest and my enthusiasm if this process continues to take awhile?

There was also an implication brought up to me that my friend was selected not only for her own merits but due to some internal politics. I'm not sure how I feel about it, and I don't know who really to talk about it.

I fell a little out of my habit of working out, but I will be starting again tomorrow. I already ate dinner, and I didn't sleep well the last few nights, so I am going to relax tonight.

Nope...

...didn't get the job. I walked away from the interview feeling really good, and now I just feel crappy.

Guess that means it's time to start thinking about what happens if I don't make any forward progress in the next 6 months. What's plan B? Becoming a nanny again? Going to an office job? No idea.

Tonight's the pity party. But I've got to shake it off and have a happy face on by tomorrow morning, in case my friend did get the job. There's too much going on at the store for me to be able to mope about it for more than a few hours. I'd take tomorrow off, but that wouldn't be the right thing to do.

Guess the good part is that I get to go to my dad's next week, like I planned.

And here come the tears... man sometimes I miss home so much. I'd have at least five people I could go to right now. Here... not so much. I have friends, but not many who aren't work-related, and I don't want to break down in front of them.

Edited to add: Yup. She got one of the positions. I honestly am happy for her, because she deserves to move on with the company but fuck.

I don't want to leave the company, but I've put in 4 years of working my ass off, and I'm getting nowhere. I was told within three months of getting the part time job that I'd be a supervisor within the first year. Yeah, four years later, I'm still just a grunt.

Ugh. I'm going to go clean so I stop crying.

What I should be doing

is prepping for my mock interview in a few hours and my actual interview which is tomorrow.

But I'm not. I'm reading blogs instead. :)

I can't explain it, I just don't have the urgency to prepare for this interview. I feel like I already have the job in the bag, which is ridiculous because I don't.

The biggest concerns on my mind are my vacation next weekend and what to wear to the interview.

Really? REALLY? What the hell, Lisa? This is NOT what I'm usually like.

I don't know if I'm just so confident in myself because I know I'll rock the interview or because I'm so sure I won't?

This mock interview is gonna be a REAL eye opener.

Also, I've decided not to run the half marathon next weekend. My knee isn't ready and I don't really feel like setting myself back three months. I'm very disappointed, but it's the best decision for me.

Sometimes doing the right thing kinda sucks.

200! (Aka your questions answered!)

Before I begin with questions I have to share the story of tonight. I've been having a pity party kind of day, where I just haven't been in a good mood. Last night, one of the cats (not mine) didn't come home. I figured he was out tom-catting around and didn't worry about it.

When I got home from work, I wandered around calling for him, and heard a moaning coming from a tree in the neighbor's yard. Dennis is up a tree!!

The fire department won't come get him (and the guy laughed when I called). I told him, "I know this is the most cliché question ever, but I have a cat up the tree!" Apparently they don't come rescue cats anymore. So Mr. Dennis is stuck until he either decides to let the neighbor grab him or gets hungry enough to come down!!

With that... here's the answers to your questions!!

(army)Wife asked

Do you have an tattoos? If not, if you were to get one, what would you get?

I do! I have two tattoos, which I got last year. I have a Taurus symbol with an iris on my left hip and the Wisconsin W on my right foot. I tried to post pictures but blogger is being uncooperative.

If you had to change your first name, what would you call yourself?

I'd probably go by my middle name, Renee. I moved a lot as a kid, and thought about changing to my middle name during my second to last move (just before 6th grade) but couldn't remember to stop writing "Lisa" on the tops of all my papers. Old habits die hard!

What's your favorite dessert?

My favorite dessert is probably Grandma's rhubarb custard pie. Actually, any of Grandma's pies are up there. But her rhubarb custard pie is to die for. It's got just enough sweetness and a little bit of tart from the rhubarb. Mmm... that is the downside to Seattle-- so far away from Grandma that I don't get to be spoiled by her pies and cookies!

What's your dream job? (Also asked by Abbie)

Now that's a tough question, and I've done a lot of soul-searching about this one lately. I love working at my company, I love selling outdoor gear, and using it. But I think that I'd have a little bit more fun using and teaching than selling. That being said, I love kids and miss being a nanny. Part of me is considering going back to it. So maybe something that combines both of those, without working at a summer camp.

Benson asked How many bikes do you own?

There are three bikes in my possession, although only two now belong to me. I have my mountain bike (see last Friday's post) and my road bike. I also currently have my boss's Specialized Mountain bike, which I keep trying to give back, but she's resisting because she just moved. I won't complain too much, but since I'm getting ready to move home, I need to give it back soon! I really enjoy mountain biking, but I think I'm a roadie by nature. I have owned my Trek 1500 since May of 2005. I thought I had a post about my bike (which I have yet to name, although Amelia was tossed out on my midnight ride with a friend), but I may have erased it. I've coveted a tri-specific bike, but that will have to wait for awhile.

Abbie had a couple other questions:

How did you end up in Seattle?

Well, this question is a bit tricky. The "official" answer is that my company was opening a new store, and I jumped at the chance to move to Seattle (where the company was founded and is based) and get an "in" at HQ.

The more detailed story is a lot more personal and has a backstory to it, so bear with me. :) Two years ago, I was starting to notice some problems in my 4 1/2 year relationship. My (now) ex and I were living together, and fighting a lot. Most of our arguments centered around his friendship with a female coworker, who I had met several times and cautioned him that she liked him. We had been talking for a little while about moving to Seattle, and a job posted for a store opening. I decided to apply for it. What the heck, right? He told me that moving to Seattle would "save" our relationship. We were "taking a break" at that point, I was at my best friend's house & house sitting for a coworker. I interviewed for the position, and my interview went amazingly. I got a call 2 days later that I didn't get the job, but was highly encouraged to apply for the job I held at the Madison store.

I went back to my apartment a couple days later (on the day we'd agreed I would move back in), and walked in to find his coworker cooking breakfast in my kitchen. My relationship was over at that point. I didn't know exactly what I was going to do, but I knew I had to get out of Madison and away from my current life. I interviewed for my position a few days later, and the interview was AWFUL. I was sure I didn't get the job, and was already trying to find a roommate or second job to be able to afford my apartment. I got a call from a friend who was higher up in the company, telling me he knew I had the job, and I told him he was wrong, no way, the interview was terrible. Not two hours later, my current boss was calling me to offer the job. She started telling me about the job, and then paused and said, "Wait, so did you accept the job?"

I started laughing and almost crying and said "YES!!" About six weeks later, I packed my things and headed out the door to Seattle.

What do you miss the most about Wisconsin?

This answer is tough! I definitely miss a lot of things. Of course I miss the beer, the Packers/Badgers/Brewers fanatics, nights out on the Terrace, Badger games, biking the roads I could ride in my sleep, some of the restaurants (Noodles & company, BW3's, the Great Dane, Brats, etc). But the thing I must say I miss the most is the family I have there. Both actual relatives and the friends who became my family over the 7 years I spent there. My grandmas both live there, and I miss being able to drive 3 hours and be at Grandma's house for the weekend. My dad's mom makes the best cookies and pies. She feeds me like crazy, and we play hours of cards and just chat and check in together. I could tell her pretty much anything and she'd still love me. Most of all, it's just a feeling of being at home. She told me she kind of thinks of me as one of her kids, even though my dad and uncle are both much older (my uncle is even a great-grandfather!). I try to talk to her often, but it's not quite the same. She's "stirred up a batch" of my favorite oatmeal raisin cookies that she's sending me soon. I'm very excited for them. :)

Whew... that's all the questions! I've delved into some of the good and some of the difficult. I hope that gives you all a little window into my lil corner of the world! :)

OK so I lied... (a wordy Wordless Wednesday)

Next post will be 200. I forgot about the one post I didn't count, since it made my total (with my questions post draft) 200.

Trying not to be frustrated today. I took my car in to get my dealership estimate reviewed at a repair shop I trust. It's not looking good.

I'm debating if I should just suck it up and buy a new (to me) car before September. Argh. I don't know. I can't really afford a car payment, but I REALLY can't afford to keep pouring money into my 10 year old SUV.

But, on the upside, I was surprised earlier today with a series of texts from P. Apparently their unit still is waiting on equipment, and hasn't started their exercise yet. I'm SO happy because it came at a moment when I was feeling tired and depressed. We talked about jobs (his and mine) and I started to think about what I can do if I don't get this corporate job.

So for my "Wordless" part:

Me and my buddy Ben on a backpacking trip to South Sister in Bend, OR last summer. Sorry it's looking squished, I have no idea how to fix that. If I put it normal size, all you can see is my dorky face. :)

Last one!!

Next post is #200!! Not sure when I'll post it, cuz I have a couple busy days ahead. Last chance to get your burning questions answered! :) Anyone?

Bueller?

Bueller?

Anyway, things are still going really well. I'm super stoked about the interview next week, and learned a couple more things about the position today. I'm in a pool of 5 candidates. There are 2 positions open. One of the other candidates is a good friend of mine from the store. They'll let us know by Wednesday and we'd start Monday. So.... send lots of good vibes my way Monday around 3 PM Pacific time! :)

P and I got to talk quite a bit this weekend. No actual phone calls, but more texting. Today they're in the field for two weeks, so next time I talk to him, I may be an employee at headquarters! When I told him that, we talked a little about the job and the fact that it's closer to his place than mine, and then he turned the conversation towards the long term. He said something about not being stationed here forever.

My heart skipped a beat and I said, "Well you won't be leaving for a year and a half and that's plenty of time to get some experience that would help me at any company." Inside... so what you're saying is that when it's time to leave... you want me to come too. Ummm... Ok!

It's a little fast to be thinking about that, but it doesn't feel like we've only known each other a few months. We'll see what happens, but he'll be back in 3 weeks. :)

I've kept up with the Jillian workouts and it may be all placebo effect, but I swear I can notice a difference in my abs and arms. I still have a bit of toning to do, but I'm already happier with how they're looking. I admit I haven't been following the diet, because honestly, most of the recipes serve 4-10 people, and I'm cooking for just myself. And it's WAY too expensive to try to afford all of the food she suggests. I'm sure I'd have more noticeable results if I did, but I'm happy with where I'm at.

The half is a week from Saturday. I'm scared it may be my first ever DNF (did not finish) and I'm stressed enough to consider a DNS (did not start). I don't know. I may just get out there and see how I feel. I'd be ok with a DNF, sort of. It would be a huge disappointment, but I know my training isn't there to be a good run. Or even an OK run. It may end up being a crappy walk. I'm torn.

No really, any more questions? :)

I'm almost afraid to post this.

You guys... this is three in a row. *knock on wood* wait... *knock on an entire friggin forest*

Three awesome days in a row. 

My day started out bright and early with a 4:30 AM text from P. A couple quick texts and he let me go back to sleep. (But 2 days in a row!! *happy dance*) I fell back asleep and woke up around 8, where I texted him again. Couple more texts and then my phone rang.

Hmm... 253... that's the area code for just south of me. Who could be calling? Cindy? From HR? WHAT??? 

I have an interview!!!! *more happy dance* Monday the 22nd! I immediately called my manager to get my schedule adjusted so I can go. The job would start Monday the 29th. 

After my happy dance, I headed off to buy myself a present, and treated myself to my brand new mountain bike! 

Isn't she PRETTY? And she's mine, all mine! :) 

Can't wait to take her out for a ride!!

Tonight I went to Survivor class with Tara (apparently it's not boot camp, but man it felt that way!). I started out the class pretty strongly, but my knee faded part way through. Troy (Tony? Man, I'm awful with names) modified a few things for me so I didn't have to worry. I did notice some pain and started favoring and a little babying. 

But the class was a blast and I plan to go back in about a month, after my half marathon and after I get back from my dad's. P and I are going to the Mariner's game the weekend after we both get back. I'm excited. 

It feels good to ice the knee, and I've got a shrimp pasta dish cooking on the stove (lazy and picked up a bertolli's meal, but it sounded SO good). 

Hope everyone else is having a fantabulous weekend!!